Kevin and Ryan, ages five and three, were waiting for breakfast one Saturday morning. As their mother was preparing some pancakes, the boys began to argue loudly over who would get the first one from the griddle.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If
Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first
pancake. I can wait.'" she explained.
Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws
trying to enforce 10 commandments.
Here's a little humor under the heading of "Trustworthiness":
A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?"
"Do you read your Bible every day?"
She nodded her head, "Yes."
Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she
A little girl was given two dollars by her father. He told her that she could do anything she wanted with the one dollar and that the other dollar was to be given to God on Sunday at church. The girl nodded in agreement and asked if she could go to the candy store. With visions of all that she could buy with her dollar, she happily skipped toward the store, holding tightly to the two dollars in her hand.
As she skipped along, she tripped and fell and the wind
blew one of her dollars into a storm drain at the curve. Picking herself
up, the little girl looked at the dollar still in her hand and then
at the storm drain and said, "Well Lord, there goes your dollar."
During a sermon, the country preacher said to his congregation, "Now let the church walk." Deacon Jones said, "Amen, let it walk."
"Let the church run," said the preacher. "Let it run," echoed Deacon Jones.
Let it fly," said the preacher. "Amen, brother, let the church fly," said Deacon Jones.
it's going to take money to let it fly, brother," said the preacher.
"Let it walk," said Deacon Jones, "Let it walk."
A pastor was talking to his farmer friend, and he asked the farmer, "If you had one hundred horses, would you give me fifty?" The farmer said, "Certainly."
The pastor asked, "If you had one hundred cows, would you give me fifty?" The farmer said, "Yes."
the pastor asked, "If you had two pigs, would you give me one?" The
farmer said, "Now cut that out, pastor; you know I have two pigs!"
A family sat down at the dinner table following church
"Yeah, could you believe how the pastor stumbled over
the reading of the Scripture?" his sister chimed in.
Finally, father, showing his leadership, said, "Hush,
you guys. Quit complaining. What did you expect for a quarter?"
Many believers don't see the importance of regular church
attendance. Members of Northend Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Seattle
received a special announcement in the mail, listing the many things
that will be done for them at church on the following "no-excuse-to-stay-home-Sunday."
Finally, the sanctuary would be decorated with Christmas
poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church
A young parish minister about to deliver his first sermon
asked a retired cleric for advice on how to capture the congregation's
The frenzied activities of Christians have made someone
revise the old nursery rhyme to read (sorry but Baptist was in the original
version - you can substitute whatever name you wish):
A little boy was saying his bedtime prayers with his mother:
"Somebody has well said that there are only two kinds
of people in the world - there are those who wake up in the morning
and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the
morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
"Too many Christians are no longer fishers of men but
keepers of the aquarium."
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large
city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled
the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment.
FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
A minister was forced to stop by a traffic cop to pull over for speeding. As the cop was about to write the ticket, the minister said to him, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."
The cop handed the minister the ticket and said, "Go
thou and sin no more."