1. How many Charismatics does it take to change
a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a
light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not
change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light
bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
3. How many Baptists does it take to change a light
bulb?
Change???
4. How many neo-orthodox does it take to change
a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
5. How many TV evangelists does it take to change
a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
6. How many independent fundamentalists does it
take to change a light bulb?
Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
7. How many liberals does it take to change a light
bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light
bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb,
they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might
use other forms of light.
8. How many Catholics does it take to change a
light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
9. How many worship leaders who use guitars does
it take to change a light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
10. How many members of an established Bible teaching
church that is over 20 years old does it
take to change a light bulb?
One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the
old one.
11. How many United Methodists does it take to
change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in
favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own
journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine.