Merle & Mary's first meeting
Mother, daughter enjoy tearful hug after 39 years of pain, separation.
Mom never knew if the baby was a boy or girl until December 18, 1998.
It all started with a scrap of paper that had a couple's address on
it...........You will be blessed by this true story.
"JUST BE MY CHILD" (c)
Life can be a bowl of cherries! However, for a lot of us it is thought
of as just the pits!
In 1981 that is the way, I felt about my life.
God used two situations to force me to look where I was placing my confidence.
The first was in my mother who had failed me in that she died. The second
was in my husband of 28 years. He no longer wanted to be married to
me. My confidence was shaken to the very core. Even an attempted suicide
failed. Life for me was the "Pits."
With all the human props pulled out from under me I was forced to redirect
my focus if I was to survive. For the first time in my entire life of
40 years, God had my full attention. I began to focus on God. I mean
really focus. At this point in my life, I knew the only thing that I
could really count on was God.
Everything I knew about God from the Bible was true. Jesus Christ loved
me enough to allow his arms to be stretched out and nailed to a cross
and there He took my place. All the sin of my life was placed on Him
the day He was crucified. He was the only one who had not failed me!
In September 1981 during a revival, the evangelist preached a message,
"Who are you? He gave an illustration about an Eagle who sat on a nest
with four eggs. Two hatched and the eaglets decided to go down the mountain
to see the world. They found a bunch of wild turkeys and lived with
them for a while. As the eaglets grew they discovered that they did
not look like the turkeys nor did they really want to eat what they
ate.
So they decided to go back to where their nest had been to see who they
really were. As they approached the summit of the mountain a full-grown
eagle took flight and began to soar into the wind. That was when the
eaglets realized who they were. The point of the message was: "Are you
trying to live like a Christian when you are not really a true believer."
Over and over the evangelist would ask, "Who are you!" That phrase kept
repeating itself in my mind over and over again.
The next day, September 18, 1981, I was driving down the road and rethinking
that message and that illustration of the eagles. All of a sudden, I
realized that I was in that same situation. I did not know who I really
was. I was certainly a displaced person.
The tears began to flow and I talked to God out loud. "God, I do not
know where I am going, my life is a mess, and I certainly do not know
who I am!" At that point God spoke to my heart and said, "Just be my
child." It sounded so simple. No pressure to be anything! It was a call
to give up my feeble efforts of trying to be what I thought others wanted
me to be.
All I had to offer God was brokenness and strife. In my eyes, my life
was the "pits." Yet here was his call. Imagine the God of the universe
extending such an invitation to me. "Just be my child."
In tear stained cheeks, driving down the highway, I said, God I have
nothing to offer but if you want me I will be yours. Take control of
my life. I cannot handle it myself.
At that very moment, I felt as if I had been bound in chains and immediately
those chains fell off. I was free! Free from the bondage of sin. I felt
so wonderful. Now I just knew everything would be fine. But everything
was not okay. Many lessons had to be learned. God is the perfect parent
and He began my training as His child. I call it "God's Boot Camp."
It is hard! But it is worth every tear we shed, every lesson we learn,
every hurdle we go over! God never wastes any of our sorrows.
After the divorce, I was very bitter. God had to dross that out of my
life. Psalms 37 literally became my guide to live by. I clung to every
promise in that chapter. I had to pattern my life after the commands
and the results were up to Him.
Psalms: 37
1. "Fret not thyself," because of evildoers, neither be thou envious
against the workers of iniquity. 1. For they shall soon be cut down
like the grass, and wither as the green herb. 2. Trust in the Lord,
and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land and verily thou shalt be
fed. 3. Delight thyself also in the Lord and he shall give thee the
desires of thine heart. 4. Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also
in him and he shall bring it to pass. 5. And he shall bring forth thy
righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday. 6. Rest
in the Lord and wait patiently for him.
7. Cease from anger, and forsake wrathÖ. (KJV)
From September 1981 until this day I can tell you God has truly brought
the verses of this chapter true in my life. Time does not permit for
me to share at this time the stories of the University of Life in which
God has trained me. We will save those for another time.
There is one story I would like to share with you. It is a story of
a 17-year-old girl who went on a date; there was liquor involved and
a baby conceived. When her mother found out about it, she prayerfully
considered the alternatives available. Marriage was not an option. That
would have been another mistake for the boy and girl were friends but
not in love. A home for unwed mothers was too scary for the young girl
who had hardly even been out of her hometown except to visit grandparents
in other states. Abortion was certainly not an option. This was a life
created by God and far too precious.
The decision was made to find suitable adoptive parents. Through their
Pastor a couple were located and a direct adoption was arranged. The
heartbroken mother put her only daughter on a train for the long ride
from Ohio to Tyler, Texas to live with the couple until after the baby
was born.
The lovely Christian couple was 34 and 39 at an age where any adoption
agency would have turned them down. Direct adoption was an answer to
prayer and a fulfillment to the longing in their heart for a child of
their own.
After the birth of her child, the young girl went to live with the lady's
sister until she was able to travel back to her home. She never saw
the baby, she never even knew whether the baby was a boy or a girl.
The girl came home. Her family never spoke another word about what happened.
The young girl was left to suffer silently within her own self the sin,
the guilt, and the shame of it all until that day September 18, 1981,
when God asked her to be his child. I was that young girl.
This happened in 1959 --Thirty-nine years ago! It was a hard
decision to make but the best for all concerned at the time. Having
lived with the couple, I was confident the baby would be loved, cared
for and raised in a Christian home.
There was never any question in my mind. I always knew in my heart that
if and when the time came that we should meet, God would let me know
it. When my mother died in 1981 I found the torn corner of an envelope
with the return address of the couple. I kept the address but did nothing
about it until September of this past year. I searched through the Internet
and found the name and address of the couple in Tyler, Texas to see
if I could locate them. Both of their names came up on the screen but
at a different street address. I did not do anything at that point.
I had to be sure this was of God. Too many years had past.
The thoughts came back to my mind over and over again. Not nagging thoughts,
just a gentle nudge that kept coming back. Finally I felt that for some
reason it was time to contact the couple. I talked it over with my husband
and my children. They were all in agreement that I should.
On November 17, 1998, I wrote to Louise and Bill Hale the couple
who adopted my baby. I sent pictures of our family and what had happened
to me during the past 39 years. Ending with the question that perhaps
they could tell me why the feeling to contact them was so strong.
The weeks went past and no word. Every day I asked my husband, "Ralph
did I get any news from Texas." "No Merle, I'm sorry. Just be patient."
On December 18, 1998, we went to the Spartanburg Downtown Rescue
Mission to help with the Christmas party. While we were away from home
I received a phone call from Mary but she did not leave her name or
a phone number. When we got home Ralph checked his e-mail and there
was a message. Regarding Merle's e-mail to Louise and Bill Hale in Tyler,
Texas.
Talk about emotions. Mine were running wild at that time. I wanted to
hear but was afraid at the same time. When he opened up the letter that
was the first time I knew what my baby was. It was signed your daughter
Mary.
She spoke of my "long awaited letter." She had tried for eighteen months
to find out about her heritage and me. She also explained how Louise
had laid the envelope aside thinking it was advertisement. She has cataracts
and does not see very well. That very day Louise woke up with a bad
headache. Usually she would have gone back to bed. Instead that day
she prayed and asked the Lord to help her do what she needed to do that
day. That was the very day she opened a stack of old mail and found
my letter.
That evening Mary tried to reach me by phone but I was out for the evening.
She wanted to talk with me personally and did not leave her name or
number. In the e-mail she gave me some information about her family
but not a phone number. The next morning I could not sleep and rose
up early to see if I could locate her phone number through the Tyler
phone directory. While I was on she came on too and sent an instant
message to me and asked, "Mom is that you?" We sent messages back and
forth for a while, finally she said get off, I want to call you. I want
to hear your voice."
That afternoon Mary sent a family portrait via the Internet. Can you
imagine the feeling I had when I first laid eyes on the child I had
never held in my arms? I laughed, I cried, I walked the floor. All the
emotions I had not allowed myself to feel came at once. She was so beautiful
and she looked so much like my mother and my other children as well
as myself.
This is truly a gift from God. Only one element out of place and we
would not have been able to ever locate each other. My mother had died,
my father moved and now the phone where he stays is not in his name.
I had married twice and moved several times. It was virtually impossible
for her to have located me. Bill died in 1989 and if Louise had remarried,
I would not have been able to locate her. And if both had died I would
never have known if I was searching for a man or a woman.
Truly God has performed a miracle in our lives to bring us together
at this time in our lives. What a wonderful Christmas this has been.
Even though we were not together, just the fact of knowing that we found
each other. It was all in God's timing and to his glory.
Life may seem like the "Pits" to you but it does not have to stay that
way. God too is looking for his children. As you read this story he
is extending an invitation. He calls to you. Come to me, just be my
child! I love you and want you to be with me forever.
As you have read the story of how God made Himself so real to both Mary
and I, we hope that you will be touched and hear His call. To be His
child is a call to be adopted into God's family and is a life long commitment.
Do you feel him calling to you, "Just be my child?" What will your answer
be?
© 1999 Uplift Ministries