Pain

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My fist against the wall; again and again
This perfect little box I have built around myself
A dance with the Devil I think I have mastered
But only in my mind do I win

In the physical realm the deeds I do bring death
But in my mind I think I win
The members of my body wage holy war against me
But in my mind I think I win

My imperfection grows, and my ego explodes
This dance that I think I know one step, two step
But in reality One step forwards, and two steps back
My every victory brings two more defeats

I walk with an air of confidence
But my spirit is crushed
I hurt those around me, but not physically
I hurt them because I am not all that I can be

Complacency has taken hold
And it's icy dead grip is chilling
But in my mind I think I win
Victory is within my grasp

But in my mind I think I have already won
Who can save me from this body of death
I seek Him, I seek His healing
I seek the freedom He brings

Freedom from this body of death
I deserve to suffer, and stubbornly I accept this
But he offers His hand, and I bite it, like a stubborn dog
I deserve death, but I don't get it, yet

One more chance He gives, one more chance I waste
One more chance He gives, one more I reject
Bring me pain so that I may see
For in my pain I find my faith

My faith made strong by my pain
And my faith will save me